I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
