can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
