We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Umm I'm too high to move.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
