Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
