All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
