I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
