i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
