yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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