gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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