9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
