A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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