Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
nutella sex= disaster
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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