My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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