ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
