I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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