So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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