ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dignity is for republicans.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
