the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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