you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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