Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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