i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
birth control should be required to get into college
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
