I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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