did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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