how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
