I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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