I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
