so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
In America we eat man semen.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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