i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
