i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
