that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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