no, he came in my armpit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
