the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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