What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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