Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
