Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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