This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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