i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize