why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
