ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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