i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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