i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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