So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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