marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
