Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
