RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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