Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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