Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He keeps bees of course he's weird
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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