U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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