no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We left an ass print on the piano.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
