Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
