Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
