I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
