I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
