I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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