So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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