I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize