Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
