I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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