she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
