The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
