I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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