I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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